Depending on which "news" source you've read over the past couple of days, the FA shortlist for the soon to be vacant England Manager role consists of ten people. Which means it's not so much a shortlist, more a shopping list. For certain, it is known that Alan Curbishley has had a cosy careers chat with Unky Brian. What is not known is who the other nine contenders are. Assuming that the usual names and culprits are on the list, then we can say that Big Sam, Mad Martin, Nice Peter, Go - Anywhere Guus and Psycho are all there. Which makes a total of six realistic interviewees. So there must be some pretty left field contenders out there. It's fair to say that The Hairdryer, The Setubal Smirk and Mr Arsenal are not candidates.

So who else is there? Well, for starters, Postman Pat has to be in with a shout. Very few men are able to come through a crisis like he is and still keep everyone happy. Let no-one say he hasn't got a good background; stable family life although we may have trouble luring him from the Royal Mail as he's a loyal company man if nothing else. Fireman Sam is another obvious choice as his current employers like his ability to sort out any problem without any misunderstandings would help when say, Rio forgets to go for a waz. Only problem is that he is Welsh so that could be a barrier to the England job. Candidate number nine ought to be the Fat Controller. Takes no crap from any of those engines, buses, cranes, trucks or traction engines which means he is very adept at dealing with different personalities. Also has Sodor Railways running on time which is no mean feat. But my personal favourite for the role has to be Captain Snort. Organises the troops at the Fort with consumate ease, takes care of all manner of public disorder, a Gentleman so is a throwback to Walter Winterbottom and Sir Alf - days when the Three Lions ruled the world - and if Mrs Honeyman feels safe around him, then that's a positive boon given the current incumbent.

The one thing I find strange about "Curbishley-gate" is that Charlton complained about the Sunday rags printing pictures of the meeting between their manager and the Chairman of the FA. Given that they had given permission for the Governing Body to talk to their manager, it is simple commonsense to know that the media will (a) find out about it and (b) report on it with substantiating evidence. That the report came out on a Sunday when the club have a Premiership match is an unhappy coincidence from their point of view. Surely they cannot believe that this is an attempt to destabilise their efforts to finish thirteenth? Or is Premiership football really that competitive now?

Todays Tunes are from probably the best band to come from Birkenhead, erstwhile Peel favourites Half Man Half Biscuit, taken from their debut album Back In The DHSS Again.

Trumpton Riots

All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit

The Len Ganley Stance

Sealclubbing