Lullaby For Sven
The England team hotel is set in the heart of the German countryside near Baden - Baden for the FIFA 2006 Commercially Oversold World Cup. Looking similar to the Schloss used for the film, The Sound Of Music, it has a chequered past with virtually every somebody and nobody have stayed or had a function there, the ill - fated marriages of Boris Becker and Oliver Kahn (not to each other although that is probably more interesting than the ones I talk of) which both ended in divorce were hosted at the very hotel. I am sure that a lot of time and effort went into making it the ideal base for England to use.
Well, almost enough time and effort went into the process. It transpires that the newly ordered beds that the hotel are purchasing for the very same England team are in fact two metres in length which is a bit of a bugger for Peter Crouch whose height is in excess of this. So how do the hotel feel that he can surmount this problem? Why by sleeping diagonally as the beds are also two metres wide. Quite why the FA approved these measurements when contacted by the hotel prior to their ordering is beyond me but having experienced Mrs Yogi's attempts at measuring curtains I can see that it is an easy mistake to make: "Ooh how longs two metres?", "About as tall as your book cabinets", "Oh that will be fine", "What about Peter Crouch?", "Hahahaha, no worries there. Sven won't pick him - he can't hit a cows arse with a banjo". A cruel, and untimely, cartoon in The Times comments that even Crouch could score in the bed. Well, no he couldn't actually. Well, he could but he'd have to kick her out afterwards something which a fine mannered young Peter would never dream of doing. But enough of Nancy....
Just when you thought these were the ramblings of a madman, someone on high actually sort-of, kind-of, vaguely agrees with me but gives a different reaction. Not before time, FIFA have announced that there are to be severe punishments for this ranging from points deductions to relegation in persistent cases. This is to apply across all matches. Apparently any National FA that does not apply these rules will be barred from International Competition until such times as they do. All well and good but this only becomes effective once the National FA's receive their letters from FIFA telling them to implement this ruling. So that's the RFEF's excuse sorted as anyone who knows the Spanish Postal System will tell you...
On the subject of incompetent bureaucrats, one other little soundbite has come from UEFA. Apparently, they cannot police clubs within their jurisdiction, so says William Gaillard. Perhaps he will be good enough to clarify exactly what UEFA do then.
Todays Tunes are back on track with the homage to the Peel Sessions, after yesterdays slight deviation. These two tunes are from The Wedding Present, the first a cover of Orange Juice's Felicity, which I vaguely recall being released as a single and the second, a cover of Altered Images Happy Birthday. Aah, the delightful Ms Grogan.
Well, almost enough time and effort went into the process. It transpires that the newly ordered beds that the hotel are purchasing for the very same England team are in fact two metres in length which is a bit of a bugger for Peter Crouch whose height is in excess of this. So how do the hotel feel that he can surmount this problem? Why by sleeping diagonally as the beds are also two metres wide. Quite why the FA approved these measurements when contacted by the hotel prior to their ordering is beyond me but having experienced Mrs Yogi's attempts at measuring curtains I can see that it is an easy mistake to make: "Ooh how longs two metres?", "About as tall as your book cabinets", "Oh that will be fine", "What about Peter Crouch?", "Hahahaha, no worries there. Sven won't pick him - he can't hit a cows arse with a banjo". A cruel, and untimely, cartoon in The Times comments that even Crouch could score in the bed. Well, no he couldn't actually. Well, he could but he'd have to kick her out afterwards something which a fine mannered young Peter would never dream of doing. But enough of Nancy....
Just when you thought these were the ramblings of a madman, someone on high actually sort-of, kind-of, vaguely agrees with me but gives a different reaction. Not before time, FIFA have announced that there are to be severe punishments for this ranging from points deductions to relegation in persistent cases. This is to apply across all matches. Apparently any National FA that does not apply these rules will be barred from International Competition until such times as they do. All well and good but this only becomes effective once the National FA's receive their letters from FIFA telling them to implement this ruling. So that's the RFEF's excuse sorted as anyone who knows the Spanish Postal System will tell you...
On the subject of incompetent bureaucrats, one other little soundbite has come from UEFA. Apparently, they cannot police clubs within their jurisdiction, so says William Gaillard. Perhaps he will be good enough to clarify exactly what UEFA do then.
Todays Tunes are back on track with the homage to the Peel Sessions, after yesterdays slight deviation. These two tunes are from The Wedding Present, the first a cover of Orange Juice's Felicity, which I vaguely recall being released as a single and the second, a cover of Altered Images Happy Birthday. Aah, the delightful Ms Grogan.
posted by Yogi's Warrior at 3:12 pm
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