Shopaholics

Fulham 0 - 4 Arsenal

0 - 1 Henry (30)
0 - 2 Adebayour (34)
0 - 3 Henry (76)
0 - 4 Fabregas (85)

Another away match in the Premiership, the third in a row, in an important weekend as far as fourth place in the League is concerned with Bolton having what proved a tricky away match at Newcastle; the Tiny Tots and West Ham have matches that should yield one point a piece. The trip to Harrods FC has in previous years proved a happy hunting ground for Arsenal with four wins out of four, indeed Fulham had taken a meagre one point from a possible fifteen since their elevation to the Premiership. In previous seasons it would have been a racing certainty but when our current away form is placed against the Phoney Pharaoh XI home form, Craven Cottage should have seen 3 more points in the home bank.

But to sum up the season so far, on the back of a poor result the previous week, Arsenal strolled through the Fulham defence with consumate ease, finding more holes than an Asda Carrier Bag and in truth should have had more than four. Watching Real Madrid scouts will have had a sense of deja vu with the strong running from midfield, defence - splitting passes and, in equal measure, sublime and woeful finishing serving as a warning of what this team is capable of. Having made ungracious comments about Arsenal being in decline and with no certainty of returning to previous heights, Chris Coleman cooked, sliced and ate humble pie after watching a match where his team were made to be grateful that WBA, Sunderland and Portsmouth are all more woeful than his own charges.

Henry opened the scoring, running onto a pass from Ljungberg and Adebayour doubled the lead within minutes from close range. Fulham's only effort on target in the first half came when Zat Knight lamped Moritz Volz as the pair left the pitch for the interval. A succession of chances were squandered in the second half before Henry sealed three points with the third, Fabregas slotted home in the final minutes to add a bit of gloss to the scoreline.

The gap to fourth place is now two points with the Tiny Tots playing Thug Rovers today, more importantly Bolton lost at Newcastle with most of the teams facing tough games next weekend - Bolton entertain West Ham, Tottenham travel to Chelsea and Arsenal entertain Liverpool. Only Blackburn escape with what should be a home banker when they face Aston Villa at Thug Park.

Todays Tunes are two live tracks from Bruce Springsteen, from 1978. Because The Night was a covered by, and a hit for, Patti Smith whose version I personally prefer than the ones I have heard by Springsteen but this is still very good. Badlands is taken from the same gig and is on the LP Darkness On The Edge Of Town. I am not going to link to any specific shop for these as you could probably even buy them in your local Woolworths.

Because The Night

Badlands

Anybody Got A Fiver?

Lord John Stevens is to head up an inquiry by the Premier League into alledged bungs and various other wrongdoings that are supposed to have taken place in 400 transfers since January 2004. A career policeman and a former Metropolitan Police Commissioner to boot, Stevens has in recent years been involved in highly publicised inquiries, e.g. Stephen Lawrence, and will bring considerable credibility with him, as well as some much needed Public Relations experience. Whether this gravitas will help make the Football Community spill their guts is another matter and more to the point, will he get the support of the upper echelons of the Premiership Board?

Previous investigations have brought the sum total of one person to book, George Graham. Others were charged, Ronnie Fenton, then Arsenal Scout Steve Burtenshaw and Brian Clough but it was Graham who took the fall. The FA had also established an internal department, headed by Graham Bean, to investigate similar types of allegations that Stevens will be reviewing. Both of these failed to put right the ills that besmirch the game through a lack of investment in both monetary, moral and political support. Which begs the question as to whether or not supporters should have any faith in this inquiry getting to the bottom of this problem or even making a minor dent.

For whilst the Board may want to clean up the game, the resounding silence from the football community that accompanied the recent allegations from Mike Newell and Ian Holloway was deafening. Not one of the mangerial brothers backed them up for to do so would have brought unwanted media upon themselves, forcing them into denials which may ultimately have to be retracted. Let's not kid ourselves, everyone believes bungs go on having done so in the past and no doubt they will continue to do so in the future. The holier-than-thou protestations from a group of Agents around the time of Newell's comments are dismissed as one denial too far. There have to be Agents who deal scrupulously with their clients affairs and provide what the players consider to be value for money services. David Dein at Arsenal famously said once that he had a book of Agents he would deal with and a much larger book containing the names of Agents he would not talk to, which goes some way to explaining Arsenal's lack of regular big name signings.

Estimates of how much money has been passed "under the table" over the years are staggering, the lowest I have seen quoted was £50m and that was from an Agent. All this proves is the obscene amount of cash that football generates. Even more astounding is that the majority of this money is borrowed from Financial Institutions which just goes to show how good a risk that football clubs are considered to be.

A more telling indication of football's reluctance to reveal anything to do with Agents is the absence of data regarding monies paid in respect of transfers and contractual renewals. The Football League may publish global figures but individual club details remain hidden. Of the Premiership, only Manchester United publish these figures and that was as a result of being a PLC and the pressure put on the club by major shareholders. With the Glazer family taking the club back into private ownership, there is now doubt fuelled by David Gill as to whether or not this information will ever be available again. Arsenal do not mention payments to Agents generally although tucked away on Page 18 of their Interim Accounts is a footnote that HM Customs has charged them £0.7m for incorrectly reclaimed VAT. This is subject to appeal but means that the club has paid at least £4m to Agents in the recent past. Looking at the transfers that the club has been involved in up to 30th November 2005, this is staggering and indicates payments were made to Agents for the sale of Patrick Vieira to Juventus. Which begs the question of how that sale arose - did Juve contact Arsenal or was Patrick hawked around the marketplace until someone bit? Either way, why were Agents paid by Arsenal Football Club for the sale? Surely as a G14 member, someone in the club has the phone numbers of Juventus, Real Madrid et al? And if this money doesn't refer to Vieira, which players were involved? Alexander Hleb? Surely an Agent was not paid what was effectively 25% of the transfer fee? It is time for Clubs to come clean and list by transfer, the amounts paid to Agents. And if they do not voluntarily do this, then FIFA should force them to do so.

Back to Lord Stevens, his inquiry is expected to take six months and I wish him luck on two fronts - (1) to clean the game up and (2) it gives me more to waffle on about.

Have I mentioned that The Charlatans have got a new album out on 17th April? No? Are you sure? Well, they have and any freebies will be gratefully received.

Todays Tunes are from a case of the old and new, XTC live in Boston in 1980 and The Kaiser Chiefs from the V Festival in 2005. Neither needs any introduction so I won't make one.

XTC - Making Plans For Nigel

The Kaiser Chiefs - I Predict A Riot

Carry On Dying

The untimely death of Peter Osgood is a sign of age as he was playing in the first football match I ever saw; the passing of players that I remember seeing "in the flesh" is going to become more frequent from here on in.

So England beat Uruguay. Who cares? Sven? I doubt it. For all of his media comments, the guy knows who is on the plane to Germany come May / June barring a loss of form. Martin Samuel in yesterday’s Times makes the point well about the standard of the England squad, asking the reader to categorise England’s players into those who bring a smile to your face, those that make you shift uncomfortably in your seat and those that as he puts it, are “Wha – Hey, Whoah – Ho, The Full Jack Douglas”. He lists 15 that fall into the first category, 5 in the second (although somewhat bizarrely one of those is Teddy Sheringham) and 4 in the last; James, Martyn, Wright – Phillips and Brown. The inclusion of Wright – Phillips is based on the perception that his progress has come to a grinding halt since going to Stamford Bridge, proof positive that Stamford Bridge is now the footballing equivalent of being sent to Siberia if you are not in the first XI, whilst Brown is there due to not being able to hold down a regular place at Old Trafford over the years and when he does play, it seems that he and Silvestre are held to blame for the defensive mishaps that beset United every few games. This ignores the fact that Rio “Test Tube” Ferdinand was culpable for a number of United’s goals conceded around Christmas time.

As usual there was a player departing the squad through injury. Seems Fat Frank has tightened his hamstring bending down to pick up some pie he’d dropped on the floor although I expect he’ll be fit for Saturday. What has surprised me is that Ryan Giggs turned out for Wales. Someone should really have told him it was a friendly so that he could have pulled out and not have sullied his international career by appearing in a meaningless game. Oh, he’s Welsh so all of their games are meaningless.

Arsenal’s injury list refuses to lie down and go away quietly, with Ashley Cole confirmed as being sidelined for at least three weeks. It is proving a turbulent year for the left back after the Chelsea debacle he is now embarking on legal action against the News of the Screws and The Sun for reasons that I have not quite understood in that he believes that they implicated him as being involved with “Gay Premiership” star non-story. Good to see he is focussing on getting fit and allowing no distraction to come between his return to the first team and possible World Cup glory. Sol Campbell is expected back on the 12^th March, seemingly ruled out of the return leg of the Champions League tie against Real Madrid. The good news is that Bergkamp, van Persie, Ljungberg and Gilbert are all expected to return this weekend which should give us a reasonably strong side, at least as far as attacking options go, to field against Harrods FC and Madrid.

Quiz time – follow this link to get a mega – football quiz that is doing the rounds and should waste an hour or two of your time. It’s in Excel format.

Unashamed Plug – have I mentioned that The Charlatans have got a new album out in April? Go to their myspace page, here, for preview tracks and details of their tour and festival dates.

Todays Tunes: Normally, I am not keen on DJ mixes or, “mash ups” I believe the youth of today call them but I stumbled by accident across Mark Vidler’s website, Go Home Productions, who has taken an interesting angle on this mixing contemporary songs with those from the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. Such luminaries as The Sex Pistols, Marvin Gaye, The Jam, XTC, Stone Roses and Devo are mixed with Madonna, Steps, etc.

The two tracks chosen are interesting, to say the least. First of all, Ray Of Gob puts “Ray of Light” over “Pretty Vacant” and “God Save The Queen” whilst Strung Out King is an Elvis Presley rant over “Stepping Stone” by The Farm.

Friendly? Pah! Lets Get Ready To Rumble!

International friendlies are a pain in the arse. Seriously, whilst they may be of value to the National Squad in terms of training together and keeping some semblance of team spirit and tactics together, for the average fan they disrupt the week as club football goes into hibernation. Do not get me wrong. I love competitive International Football as the matches are completely different to Premiership and Champions League fodder served up every week. It is easy to identify the intelligent players and those that are drones, carrying out their orders from a different manager just as they would every Saturday and Wednesday.

What irks me is that they are friendlies. I hate club friendlies as well. Players do not give as much effort as a competitive match, unless the opposition are a local rival, a top club side or in Englands case, Brazil, Argentina, Germany or France; even the matches played in recent years against the Dutch, Portuguese and Spaniards have been lacklustre and too often England are on the wrong end of these results. Maybe England need to tour South America again, the last time I can remember was 1984 memorable for John Barnes goal in the Maracana and Ray Wilkins outburst against a ball boy in Chile, "Give Me The Ball You Little Wanker!" which was approximately two feet away from a microphone and transmitted in all its glory onto British TV screens. Put the players in a hostile atmosphere, make them show their character. These matches can take place at the end of the season, there is no logistical reason preventing it in the years when there are no international tournaments. If the clubs can drag their players around the world for money festooned pre-season tours then the same players can generate some money for their country.

The media have been saving up their pub stories for this week. The subject of the latest is Michael Ballack, who has agreed to sign for Chelsea after Bayern are eliminated from the Champions League - Chelsea are likely to go out at the same stage, i.e. next week - for a staggering £121,000 per week (The Daily Mail), he hasn't you know (The Star, Michael Ballacks Mr 15%) or he is you know (The Sun) but he's going to play as a striker (The Sun). Whether this is true or not, I care not but hopefully one of the more enterprising hacks or their sub-editors is saving up these future headlines:

"Ballacks! Jose fumes as Michael signs for Real Madrid / Internazionale / Man Utd / Rochdale"

"Never Mind The Ballacks, Here's Samuel Eto'o"

"What a load of Ballacks" when he has a bad game.

Unashamed Plug: The Charlatans have a new album out on 17th April, "Simpatico", preceded by a single, "Blackened Blue Eyes", released on 3rd April. Previews of this and demos of three other tracks are available at the groups myspace site, here. When the album and singles are released, pop along to your local record store or ask those nice chaps at Reflex to help you obtain them - link is on the right under "Non Football Links".

Todays tunes are two live tracks from US groups, Ted Leo and The Pharmacists & The Waco Brothers. Ted Leo first came to my attention with a cover of The Jam's Ghosts and the wonderfully titled, Where Have All The Rude Boys Gone?, which is one of about 20 MP3's on their site, here, for you to download. The Group play tuneful "indie" songs which is the best way I can think at this hour to describe it. The Cover Version I've chosen is from a gig on 26th August last year.

The Waco Brothers take on I Fought The Law, a Bobby Fuller song, evoking the spirit of The Clash's cover version. I know nothing else about them as I've yet to listen to the boot of one of their recent gigs that I was given. Sorry guys, although apparently they are one of the bands who have signed up to The Live Music Archive, artists who have given their agreement to Live Recordings being shared by fans. I would urge you all to email your favourite artists and get their agreement to boots being shared through this site.

Ted Leo and The Pharmacists - Suspect Device

The Waco Brothers - I Fought The Law

Losing Your Head, Madrid style

The resignation of Florentino Perez is the final admission that the “Galacticos” policy was a failure in the most important area, on the pitch. For whilst Los Meringues have rocketed to the top of the Football Money League in terms of revenue, their failure to win a trophy for the last three seasons has produced an enormous amount of pressure for the man at the top which he was no longer prepared to tolerate.

Having failed to persuade the members to elect him five years earlier, Perez won the 2000 Presidential Elections on a manifesto that he would revitalise the Clubs’ Balance Sheet and sign the best players in the world to make the team the dominant force in Spain and Europe once again. During the election, Perez named Luis Figo as the first man he would bring to the Santiago Bernabeu and he duly delivered, earning the player the eternal enmity of the denizens of the Camp Nou. He further delivered the following year with the purchase of Zinedine Zidane from Juventus for a staggering £47m, a figure that has yet to be eclipsed although Chelsea are sure to push this to the limit with their alleged pursuit of Andriy Shevchenko. The Champions League was duly delivered in 2002 with a 2 – 1 victory in Glasgow over Bayer Leverkusen, which coupled with the arrival of Ronaldo from Internazionale, seemed to signal another period of Madrileño dominance of Europe.

That this never materialised is due to the inability to recognise the key role played by Vicente Del Bosque who was sacked one day after the Spanish League was secured in 2003 for having the temerity to request an improved contract. It should never have been underestimated how much respect Del Bosque had in the dressing room, particularly with the home-grown players such as Raúl, Hierro and Casillas who had all known him from their youth and reserve team days. The folly was further compounded by the appointment of Carlos Queiroz who had no experience of the main role at a big club. This signalled the start of period when managerial revolving door nearly came off its hinges in the following three years with Queiroz, the sweatiest man in football Jose Antonio Camacho, Wanderley Luxemburgo and a host of caretakers sitting in the hotseat. Even the current incumbent, Lopez Caro, only has a contract until the end of this season.

The problem Perez created was that his vision of the team of superstars was never going to work due to the absence of a cogent plan behind the signings. In recent years, the new arrivals have come to resemble panic buying to appease fans used to big names coming into the club every summer. In some cases they weren’t even big names, irrespective of whether they were good players or not; step forward Jonathon Woodgate and Thomas Gravesen. That Perez never sought the approval of the coaching staff with his purchases further undermined the plan, highlighted most notably when Camacho publicly stated that he did not want Michael Owen to be signed. Further imbalances were caused by the departures of Hierro and Makelele that left a midfield bereft of fighters but full of ballerinas.

The only thing that Perez can say he oversaw successfully was the overhaul of clubs finances. However, that is shrouded in controversy. The sale of the Clubs training complex for $180m wiped out the debt and heralded the start of his spending spree. Unfortunately, the smell of greased palms never went away from the deal with Madrid City Council and is still subject to much speculation. The general feeling is that Los Meringues came out of the deal better than the municipality did.

The final act on this play has yet to start though. Perez has now heaped the pressure onto the players by admitting that maybe he was interfering too much and provided too great a distraction. The character of the side will be shown in the next few weeks as they seek to prove his point. Should they win any silverware this season, glory will be theirs whilst Perez will no doubt claim that the success was his legacy to the club. One thing is for certain, the scapegoat for their season is sitting there waiting to be blamed. It will be a natural human instinct for them not to waste that opportunity and escape the scorn that will be heaped on them if they fail. The Real fightback will probably begin this weekend when they entertain Atletico in the Madrid derby, a game that they will be favourites to win handsomely. Arsenal need to ensure that they then bring Los Galacticos back down to earth once again by avoiding defeat in the second leg at Highbury a week tomorrow.

Today’s tunes are from Billy Bragg, recorded at a Joe Strummer Memorial gig in 2003. As Bragg rants at one point, “this is for tuneless singers everywhere”. Bragg first came to notice on the John Peel Show, one of countless who did, famously bribing the DJ with a Mushroom Biriyani to get his debut single played. His first album, Life’s A Riot For Spy vs. Spy, was released and subsequently caught up in a distribution problem but that allied with an appearance on The Tube provided him with a solid base to build upon. Whilst I have not always agreed with his politics, he has been unwavering in his support for left wing and humanitarian causes. His most recent venture was raising funds for Rosetta Life and the Trimar Hospice. This worthwhile cause and other downloads are available from www.billybragg.co.uk.

Waiting For The Great Leap Forwards / Lovers Town / Safe European Home

White Man in Hammersmith Palais

Police & Thieves

Just The Ticket

So FIFA have decided to act upon the investigation by Radio 5Live into touting of World Cup Finals tickets. I will not be holding my breath to see any outcome to this given that is FIFA are the ones who have created the problems in the first place with their “original” ticketing policy. The process has been described as a lottery although I suspect that the odds of winning the Lottery are better than those trying to (a) guess where England would be playing once they had qualified and (b) trying to get a ticket through the draw.

The process is strewn with errors that are so fundamental that it is hardly surprising that the Black Market is thriving for this tournament. Firstly, why do the countries get an equal share of the capacity? With all due respect to teams such as Paraguay, Costa Rica, Angola, etc., they will not have as many travelling supporters as England will for example. Why therefore are they entitled to 8% of the capacity? England could comfortably sell that total of tickets on their own. Indeed, it begs the question as to why only 16% of the capacity is available for supporters of the competing nations? FIFA no doubt would argue that this protects the integrity of the tournament by not favouring countries such as England by creating a biased atmosphere in their favour. Unfortunately, this is not the case with many England fans expected to attend having purchased their tickets from touts. The much vaunted security methods in preventing this are, politely speaking, simplistic. There will not be enough time for the German police to check every ticket before every match – I can confidently predict that England supporters will turn up en masse in the last 20 to 30 minutes before kick-off and expect to get in. For safety reasons, this will lead to people being waved through as there is no chance of the TV companies, sponsors or FIFA themselves allowing kick-off to be delayed as in FIFA speak, money talks the loudest.

Unquestionably the biggest source of tickets will be the Corporate Sponsors who are based in countries who do not have a direct interest in the Competition through failure to qualify or geography. One example given in the 5Live Report was tickets being sold in London that were originally allotted to a sponsor based in Canada. The time has come for the Corporate greed to be placed on the back foot and the number of tickets given to these companies to be reduced to no more than 5% of the capacity of the ground and any companies who are found to be the source of tickets bought from touts, to be blacklisted and their entire allocation be taken away and sold to supporters from the competing nations. FIFA would argue that this would have a negative impact on the sale of Corporate deals that are instrumental in generating cash that is ultimately invested in footballs. The sane view would be that the sponsors would then tighten up on their own internal procedures and prevent employees from selling the tickets. For example, I would imagine that the CEO of Mastercard would be furious if they lost their ticket allocation because one rogue employee had been found to sell a ticket illegally. They may as a Corporation decide that they do not wish to sponsor FIFA events again. Well, that is a loss FIFA should be prepared to take on the chin, as I cannot believe that there is not a queue of businesses that would be willing to take their place.

Ruud van Nistelrooy is the subject of media speculation about his future this morning following his world record attempt at collecting the largest number of splinters in his arse by sitting on the bench yesterday. Depending on which rag you read, he took it well or had a bust-up with Lord of the Sith, Darth Fergie and his future is assured at the Old Trafford Disneydome or he’ll be sold after the World Cup. One thing that should be without question is as to why he had a long face. It’s not because he was miffed at missing the match, merely that he was born with it. After all, what carthorse isn’t?

Today’s tunes are from a leading band of the Paisley Underground of the 1980’s, The Long Ryders. Devoted descendants of Gram Parsons and The Byrds, they were commercially unappreciated over here but well thought of Stateside. Sid Griffin has continued to push his heritage with The Coal Porters and Western Electric since their untimely demise. There are more of these tracks at www.sidgriffin.com for you to enjoy, or buy their Greatest Hits package here

Teenage Kicks

You’re Gonna Miss Me

Just Like Tom Thumb’s Blues

Light Gets In The Way