He Ain't Talented, He's My Brother

Militant Mancunian Che Neville has published the team he voted for in the PFA Awards. There were a couple of choices that raised eyebrows, none more so than his choice of Everton's stella midfielder, Phil Neville. The observant amongst you will have noticed a certain similarity in the surnames and, lo and behold, they are related. Noting that there may be a certain cynicism amongst his readership, the Bloshy Glazerbuck comments that his choice of his brother is entirely based on his form, noting "I don't think family comes into it. Everton got themselves one of the deals of the season when they signed Phil last summer. He has not only been a great addition to the team but, as they will have discovered, there is not a more dedicated, committed professional out there." Well thanks for clearing that up. Personally, I might have believed him if he'd have just admitted he voted for his brother just because he is his younger sibling, rather than some cock and bull story about his professionalism being the clincher for his vote. Let's face it most of us would plump for our family in a similar position for exactly that reason.

Sunderland avoided relegation today due to adverse weather conditions causing the abandonment of their home clash with Fulham in which, true to form, they were trailing by one goal to nil. Reports of Kevin Ball doing a prolonged rain dance this morning remain unconfirmed but the agony has only been prolonged by one more week as they need to win every game to even have a vague chance of staying up. This should not be ruled out as if Mr Ball has this much power over the weather then anything is possible.

Having instigated the Stevens Inquiry into Bungs, Premier League supremo Dave Richards now finds himself subject to conjecture that whilst Chairman of Sheffield Wednesday he covered up illegal payments made prior to his stewardship of the club. At the time, it is alledged that Richards did not declare the payments for fear that his club may have suffered at best, a points deduction, at worst an automatic relegation. At the same time, Swindon were unjustly punished for similar offences denying the club promotion to the top flight, indeed they were relegated to the old Division Two, a punishment that was reversed upon appeal although the hard earned Promotion to the top flight was still denied. Should the case be proven, no doubt the FA will punish Wednesday with a fine, on the grounds that the offence happened many years ago and Wednesday are no longer in the top flight. This should not matter. Having set a precedent, the penalty of relegation should still stand. Whilst this is harsh, the regime in charge of Swindon at the time was not the same that committed the offences for which they suffered their relegation. This case will be watched carefully to see if the "Old Boys Network" moves to protect their own.

The FA's search for a new England coach continues unabashed with news the short list for the role may not be quite as short as was widely anticipated. It has emerged that Phil "Tony Soprano" Scholari is being interviewed for a second time this week, as well Messrs McLaren, Curbishley and O'Neill. Commonsense seems to have popped into the room and disappeared equally as quickly. By apparently removing Stuart Pearce from contention, commonsense held sway due to his inexperience although he may well be an England Supremo in the future. Once it had departed the room, the Dynamic Duo of McLaren and Curbishley remained on the list. Whilst McLaren has gained experience by assisting the Walking Gland, he has still only got four years managerial experience, about three years more than Pearce. This is not enough. I would suggest that he is probably the next but one to lead the National Side. I have a lot of time for Curbishley but do not hold him in the same esteem as Allardyce for no reason specifically that I can put my finger on. He comes across as an eminently likeable individual and anyone who has a brother who manages The Who cannot be all bad. However, and ignoring the fact that Ramsey and Robson both came from unfashionable teams, he has not got the requisite experience as either a player or manager; both men mentioned beforehand were seasoned England internationals as players before managing Ipswich Town successfully. By remaining at Charlton, Curbishley has not got this winning record, admirable as his tenure has been. The only other manager who had a similar track record before going on to be in charge of England was Graham Taylor which is probably condemnation enough. Anyway, back to Tony Soprano. I would be interested to see who will come with him. My recommendations would be Luca Brazi as a Goalkeeping Coach, after all he has plenty of diving experience. Second in command would be Michael Corleone who is a solid and dependable successor whilst his brother, Sonny, could be the attacking coach although he needs to watch his temper which could transmit into undue aggression on the pitch. Motivational coach Vito Corleone's speeches ought to be able to encourage the players to recover any situation on the pitch and any miscreant off the pitch could be made an offer they cannot refuse. Henry Hill would probably be mistrusted, more likely to blab to the nearest journo but I still have not worked out what role Fredo Corleone would play. Perhaps Entertainment Officer would be suitable with all his knowledge of Casinos.

Todays Tunes are from Big Audio Dynamite, Mick Jones musical venture after departing from The Clash. These tracks are from an unreleased album, Entering A New Ride. The disc itself is considerably darker than anything else of theirs I have heard, although it remains distinctly B.A.D. Indeed, Sound Of The BAD, lifts it's drum track straight from Train In Vain, one of the songs that proves what a good eye for a tune Jones possessed.

Get High

Sound Of The BAD

Slow News Day

Wheels at the FA have never been known to turn quickly but even by their standards, the news that Jonathan Barnett, Ashley Cole's Agent, has been charged with a Breach Of Rules is a sign that things move a tad on the very slow side. Whilst accepting that sufficient evidence had to be gathered, surely they had all of the information that they needed once the cases against Cole, Chelsea and Mourinho had been successfully prosecuted? An explanation is surely due given that the event occurred over fifteen (15) months ago and the appeals process that Cole milked to the very bitter end was completed some six months ago.

As it is, Barnett has been charged with being involved in an "illegal approach to clubs whilst a player is still under contract". What I still find astounding about the whole affair is that men of considerable intelligence, i.e. Barnett and Kenyon, who have carved successful careers outside of football as well as inside the game were so stunningly stupid as to arrange a meeting at a Central London Hotel where surely even the most naive would suspect that staff would sell the story of the sordid subterfuge.

Presumably Barnett will be fined and warned as to his future conduct, taking into account that this is his first offence. I would be amazed if the FA took the steps of removing his licence as this would probably leave them open to a "Restraint Of Trade" action. Whether this has any impact other than to drive these contacts further underground remains to be seen.

And what of Cole himself? As I have noted earlier this week, there is a widely held belief that the players contract contains an escape clause, valuing him at £16m. I am not convinced that reflects a correct valuation but there is little that can be done about that should this prove to be the case. Whilst playing for the club, Cole continues to be held in high regard for his defensive capabilities but that is mixed with a certain amount of suspicion that the Left Back is merely biding his time until after the World Cup when he will move on. Whether he would be forgiven should he move to Stamford Bridge is subject to some debate. A move to the Bernabeu is easily dismissed in the mind of a supporter as a player wanting to test himself in a new league which could help him grow as a player and as a person, being exposed to a new culture ought certainly to do this. I have no doubt that a move to the Chelsea Circus would not be forgiven. I cannot recall one Arsenal player who has signed for a close rival and been received warmly at THOF even if they move onto another club. Particularly in this case where so much dishonesty has occurred on the part of the player and his representative. Add this to the fact that Cole was regarded as "one of us" having come through the ranks and rather like Michael Thomas, he will find the good times are remembered but without any fondness or affection towards the individual.

World Cup's are a time when players hope to prove themselves to elevate their earnings potential either with their current employers or at pastures new. For Jens Lehmann however, this years event is going to be a bit special having been confirmed as Germany's Number One between the sticks - Oliver Kahn apparently remains Number One between the sheets as compensation. Rather than come out and state his intention to dislodge Lehmann and regain his place in the starting line - up, it appears that the ageing lothario has thrown his toys partially out of his pram and is considering his International Future. Whether he will be allowed to make that decision or whether the DiveBomber will make it for him is yet to be decided. Good luck to Jens and I wish him well in this World Cup until they play England when to be brutally honest, I hope everyone in the opposing XI has the worst match of their lives.

Today's Tunes come from Don Dixon. Perhaps better known for his Production Partnership with Mitch Easter that was responsible for many an Americana album, including early REM releases. He has issued several solo albums, the debut was Most Of The Girls Like To Dance But Only Some Of The Boys Do. The style of this album fits in with a fair portion of the bands he produced "back in the day" and it remains one of my most played from this genre.

(You're A) Big Girl Now

Praying Mantis

Most Of The Girls Like To Dance

We All Live In A Yellow Submarine

Villarreal are Arsenal's next opponents in the Champions League, with The Gunners hoping to be the first British side to beat them this season. Having disposed of Everton 4 - 2 on aggregate in the Final Qualifying Round, they were drawn in the same Group as Manchester United. Rooney's dismissal in El Madrigal during the opening round of matches in that stage ensured that a goalless draw was their just reward. They repeated this result at Old Trafford to ensure their qualification from the Group and were subsequently paired with Rangers. Having been disappointed with a 2 - 2 draw at Ibrox, when their performance deserved a slender lead, they looked to be heading out of the competition until the second half equaliser ensured their progress on Away Goals.

Lumped into the "weakest" in the competition group by the media - along with Arsenal, I hasten to add - at the draw for the first knockout phase, they have performed solidly at home and surprised Internazionale by taking a very early lead at the San Siro. That Diego Forlan goal was the reason they progressed having won the return 1 - 0 this week to again progress on Away Goals. And this is what Arsenal will need to be wary of - the Away Goal. The first leg at Highbury in a fortnight's time will ideally be won by 2 - 0. In fact, anything with a "0" in the Villarreal column will be fine. They have proven difficult to beat in this years competition, their only defeat being at the San Siro, and their home form exemplary. Of the six matches at El Madrigal, they have only conceded three goals - Everton, Benfica and Rangers breaching their defence - winning 3 and drawing the remainder. Away from home, they have won twice, drawn three and lost one. Arsenal will not have been upset at progressing to meet them, given the choice of remaining semi-finalists, but it is not a tie that can be taken for granted with plenty of hard work to be done to ensure progress to the club's first Champions League final.

The La Liga fixtures have given Arsenal a boost in terms of seeing Villarreal in action against formidable opposition. This Sunday they will entertain Deportivo La Coruna, who are one place and one point better off than El Submarino Amarillo. The following weekend they travel to the Camp Nou in a match that allows Arsenal's scouts to kill two birds with one stone. Domestically, they are in a worse position than Arsenal, currently lying eighth with little chance of making the Champions League via a top four finish. Indeed, should they fail to win the Champions League then they are, at best, aining to directly qualify for the UEFA Cup but possibly in the InterToto Cup.

In many ways, the fixture list in the lead up to the First Leg is ideal. Still on a high from last nights result, the journey to Old Trafford on Sunday will be a perfect way to keep the momentum going. I would not expect many, if any, changes unless the players are knackered or injured. Sol Campbell is expected to return to the side over the coming three games but whether or not this is a permanent return to the team will depend on the player that returns. If it is the solid Centre Half, intent on playing himself back into World Cup contention then Senderos unfortunately will be unlikely to re-appear regularly this season. If it is the bewildered tramp who played against West Ham, then Campbell will be finished at Arsenal with his England career similarly over. It will be a high pressure return for him, more likely against Portsmouth in the middle of next week than into the mix on Sunday. Perhaps he will be brought on for forty five minutes in that game with a full ninety against West Brom on Easter Saturday. Much will be dependant on those one hundred and thirty five minutes and should Campbell not be fully mentally focussed, then I genuinely fear for Campbell's career which ought to have at least another two years beyond the end of this season. Indeed, it is imperative that he recovers to allow the squad sufficient cover, for should Toure pick up a booking in either of the Villarreal matches he will be banned for the next game. It would be less than ideal to face the second leg or potentially the final without either of our most experienced centre halves. Similarly, Ashley Cole's return to the fray is timely. Flamini's caution last night means that he treads the same tightrope as Toure which would leave the left side of defence very exposed. Cole is expected back in the next ten days which equates to him being available for the Second Leg or at worst the final visit of the Tiny Tots to THOF.

The FA have whittled down the shortlist for Sven's replacement to "3 or 4 names". It is believed that the only foreigner to make that list is Martin O'Neill. The other names are subject to conjecture but I would guess at Curbishley, Pearce and McLaren. But what of Big Sam? Well, in the same way that Middlesbrough's implosion at the start of this process seemed to have damaged McLaren's chances, it appears that Bolton's dip in form has cost Allardyce his chance. Allied to the fact that the FA have always erred away from asking "opinionated" managers to become Chief Of National Side. In fact this whole process has been one of the biggest CONS ever pulled. It has been a farcical process in cosy chats, perceived subterfuge and poor PR. It would never have happened in the "Good Old Days". Pull the candidates in for an interview, appoint manager; A simple two step process. Quite why Blustering Brian need to go and chat over tea with the potential CONS is beyond me. And more to the point, this is his little baby. As he has overseen the approval process, if it goes tits up as it normally does with England, will he have the good grace to resign as FA Chief Executive? After all, he has failed to deliver the Burns Report - maybe a media tycoon as the head of English Football was not the brightest of appointments, more a job for the boy.

Todays Tunes are by an unknown band! If anyone can shed light on the artistes in question, then I will happily take that on board. Anyway enough drivel. These two were passed onto me on the basis that they are New Order demos from the mid - 1980's, which the person in question has said in good faith. Personally, I am unconvinced. For sure, the vocalist is not Barney Sumner although it could be Peter Hook or Stephen Morris. More likely, they are one of any number of bands influenced by New Order. As I said, any further info gratefully received.

Love Dances 1

Love Dances 2

The Self Preservation Society

Juventus 0 - 0 Arsenal (Agg Score 0 - 2)

Before the match, Lillian Thuram promised a hurricane from Juventus whilst Pavel Nedved was more circumspect in opining that Juve never know when to give up, despite the evidence of the first leg when they gave up as soon as Fabregas scored the opening goal. In the event, it was more of a summer breeze aside from a ten minute spell in the second half when a wee bluster started with a deflected shot from Ibrahimovic and a stinging shot from Nedved. That was to be his last contribution as yet again Juve lost their cool and he departed having earned a second yellow card for a reckless challenge on Eboue.

Juve were once again very poor. They created nothing of note in the first half and for all of their technical ability, the lack of passion shown was woeful. If it had been an English side chasing the deficit then all hell would have broken loose in pursuit of the opening goal to ease the pressure. Instead the Italians were content to pass and pass and then throw a long ball forward to Ibrahimovic who more often than not was beaten to the ball or simply in no position to collect the pass and lay the ball off. Throughout the match, it looked more a case of not if Juve would score but when Arsenal would score. In the first half, Henry and Gilberto (twice) had chances to settle the tie before the ninety minutes was up. In the second, Fabregas, Ljungberg (twice) and Hleb had more chances which following the departure of Nedved seemed to arrive every two minutes.

In the end, the defence was sturdy and in a game such as this, the infrequent nervousness shown was commendabe. On the rare occasion that he was required, Lehmann's handling was exemplary. After ten minutes, the Champions League record of Ajax for minutes between conceding goals was passed. After ninety, the eighth game without conceding surpassed Milan's landmark.

The only blackspot on the evening was Reyes yellow card that means he misses the first leg of the semi - final, the last ever European match that THOF will ever stage. Some months ago, the club website started it's top ten countdown for the final matches at Highbury, with the proviso that if the club lost to Real Madrid we were actually already in the home straight and that we were at eight games to go. Not any longer does that optimism seem over the top. So onto the Costa del Azahar for the clubs' first Semi-Final in Europe's Premier Club Competition as Villarreal beckons.

Todays Tunes in honour of the 500th unique visitor to these shores, which given I didn't expect more than three people including myself to even read, is some achievement. Thanks to those who have read and also passed comments onwards. Well except for the spammers. Here are some of my favourite tunes from the recent (and not so recent) years:

F.E.A.R. - Ian Brown (James Lavelle - Barcelona mix)

Bootsy - A Certain Ratio (The Swingfire Mix by The Other Two) - Original on CD, "Force"

Ready...Steady...Wait For It, Wait For It

Tomorrow’s match in Turin is the biggest test that this Arsenal side has yet faced – you will note that each leg in Europe is getting to be a bigger test than the last time I used that phrase. Note to self: Buy a Thesaurus or learn some new words from a dictionary.

With a two goal advantage, Arsenal ought to progress but then this is no ordinary Arsenal side. Domestically, we have found some rhythm and form having previously been a pushover all season away from home. There was a tangible injection of self-belief after the win in the Bernabeu. Now they face a Juve side that must attack but for the first half at least, can afford to be reasonably cautious. I have not seen much of Juve this season on the British television transmissions of Serie A matches so I leave it to more informed sources to point out their failings and strengths. Needless to say, any team that remains undefeated at home since April 2005 must be doing something right. Key to this game though will be how they integrate their personnel changes. Obviously the return of Nedved is a huge boost for them. Despite being in his mid – 30’s, he is still a player who is widely respected and it will cause the defence a considerable amount of work to contain him. The boost for Arsenal is the news that Del Piero is not going to participate at all tomorrow, having failed to recover from his injury. The loss of the hardworking Camoranesi will probably necessitate Mutu switching to the right of midfield whilst I am not sure whom they will bring in to replace Vieira although this could be Pessotto. I would guess that Chellini (?), who came on as a substitute in the first leg, would replace Zebina.

For Arsenal, there is mixed news. Campbell and Ljungberg are both in Turin with the squad and expected to be on the bench for tomorrow’s game although it is likely that both would start should Eboue and Fabregas be declared unfit. That both of the youngsters travelled to Turin, despite picking up injuries on Saturday, is a good sign. If they were seriously injured or with only a very remote chance of playing, I doubt Wenger would have risked them travelling, preferring instead that they stay at home and receive treatment ready for Sunday’s re-enactment of The Battle Of The Bulge at Old Trafford. The widely held view is that if Eboue does not make it, Toure will move to right back and Campbell will fill in at Centre Half. I am not sure that this is the best option given Sol’s loss of form and well-documented Personal Problems. I would prefer him to play his way gently back into the side over two or three games rather than risk a setback in our most important game of the season so far. That said I believe the only other options are to play Djourou or Song at right back, neither of which is ideal although equally neither has let Wenger down when they have played. Eboue is the key player tomorrow. If he can get to grips with Nedved defensively then I think he can fully occupy the Czech in the attacking third. A big responsibility will fall on Hleb or Ljungberg on the right hand side of midfield to ensure that the gaps are covered when the Ivorian charges forward to supplement the attack.

When all is said and done, I hope Arsenal can re-produce the defensive stability that they have shown in Europe so far this season. Having equalled Milan’s record of seven consecutive clean sheets in the first leg, it would be nice to increase this one to eight and be the outright holder. A suitable addition to the records piled up at THOF in recent years. However, Juventus are a more than capable side and should they score first the pressure will magnify ten-fold on these young Gunners. This will be the truest test of their character to date in their Arsenal careers. What is in Arsenal’s favour is that on the showing in all three legs of the knockout phase, Juventus have always looked like conceding goals. With Henry in the side, Arsenal always carry a potent attacking threat. Should Arsenal score, Juve will need four. That I think will be beyond them although anything is possible. For Juve to progress, Arsenal have to equal or suffer their worst ever defeat in a European tie. On four occasions, they have been beaten by three clear goals – a feat managed by Spartak Moscow (twice), Shaktar Donetsk and Internazionale. To set against that, Arsenal have never thrown away a two-goal lead from the first leg. History, however, counts for nought but re-assurance or increased nervousness before a game. Once the white line is crossed, boys must become men. Avanti! Forza Arsenal! Cry God For Harry, Arsenal And St George!

More Financial shenanigans at the Old Trafford Glazerbucks Disneydome. United have apparently been negotiating with an Online Poker company for a sponsorship deal which would have been worth around £17.5m per season for the next four years. Which is roughly 75% higher than Emirates are paying Arsenal and that includes naming rights at the new Stadium as well as shirt sponsorship. I do sincerely hope that the club have performance bonuses built into the contract that will reward them for achievements – let us not forget that should they be fortunate enough to win the Champions League, then Arsenal will be in the next Club World Championship or Intercontinental Trophy final at the very least. Otherwise, it is rapidly looking as if they have sold themselves short in the frantic bid to find a backer when the Banks were being slightly reticent to put funds forward for the the new Stadium.

At the time, I did observe that Emirates had got themselves a bit of a bargain. The flip side is that they are tied into the deal for ten years although most contracts have a break - clause or can be broken by the weasel words of a sharp-minded QC. Also, the club has reason to thank them as £100m over ten years, guaranteed income makes a business plan look so much more attractive to a banker when you are trying to borrow roughly three times that to finance the building of a new stadium.

However, I do accept that the United Brand is far more attractive to Sponsors at the moment due to the large number of Glory Boys in the Far Eastern and American markets. It remains to be seen if this is still the case in five years time if those years are trophy - less. Of course, there needs to be someone ready to fill their shoes and let us hope that it is Arsenal and not The Evil Empire that does so.

Today’s Tunes return with A Certain Ratio. Coming from the same scene that bore Joy Division, 23 Skidoo and Cabaret Voltaire amongst others, their brand of post-punk funk was probably never designed to be commercially successful. They have however remained true to their roots and continue to pump out strong tunes nearly two decades later. These two tracks are from the 1980’s Radio Sessions:

Shack Up

The Big E

Squeaky Bum Time (Well Almost)

The sound of wild grasping at straws is ringing out over the land as the multitudes dare to believe that the title race is back on following Chelsea's draw at Brum and United's win in The Reebok. The noisiest group of straw gropers are those in Isleworth trying to convince all and sundry that the Blues can be caught and that their final day parade of fixtures is not going to be a waste of time watching. When Van Nistelrooy stooped to conquer on Saturday afternoon, there were tangible sighs of relief at BSkyB that they may be able to screen a title decider in May rather than a relegation battle which attracts rather less viewers than normal. The only problem with their hopes are that United are still seven points behind Chelsea, face Arsenal this weekend and by the time they visit Stamford Bridge at the end of the month, they have to have overtaken Chelsea as it is United's penultimate game. Sorry Guys it isn't going to happen. Chelsea will retain their title and probably finish 8 - 10 points clear although I have to admit that it would hugely funny to see Mourinho's face if his squad were to turn into a bunch of Chokers.

It isn't often that I can claim to have outscooped the Red Tops but I did (for the first time ever). On 3rd March, your erstwhile host reported that Arsenal had provided for £0.7m of reclaimed VAT that HMRC wanted back. Turns out to be the tip of the iceberg as far as football is concerned as the News of the Screws reported that the Customs man is not at all happy with the relationship between football clubs, players and agents - perhaps the FA should have outsourced the bung enquiry to them. It seems that they believe that the clubs did not necessarily employ the Agents to work on their behalf - wise words, an agent only ever works for himself to maximise his take from any deal - and if they paid the bills on behalf of the players then they should not have reclaimed the VAT anyway. An aside is that if the Customs arm decides that the players employed the Agents, not the clubs, then there will be fines and penalties there. The Revenue arm will then come in and clobber the players with Tax Bills through benefits in kind being received, leading to fines, penalties and interest payments falling due on our poorly paid heroes. It is not the first, and nor will it be the last, time that HMRC have taken an interest in football - Dennis Bergkamp was famously codenamed "Henrietta" when The Revenue investigated his salary arrangements with Arsenal - but it is the first time that a joint operation will have got their claws into the clubs. It is believed that the bill could top £60m which will no doubt help to fund Uncle Gordon's Black Hole.

Transfer talk is rife at Highbury with Pyscho Midfielder supposedly off to Villarreal in the summer after Arsene re-iterated that at his age, Robert Pires cannot expect anything more from the club than rolling one year contracts...Thierry Henry has announced that by the time the World Cup starts, he will have decided his future - personally, I think that he is off to pastures new but it is not as clear cut as everyone thinks, with Real, Juve and Inter challenging Barca for his signature. He has stated that he wants the club to show progress (box ticked) and his match his ambitions (interestingly, he has never stated his ambitions publicly so how can we measure whether or not they are being matched?). But whatever, should he decide to go then I doubt that anyone will begrudge him anything given that all he has achieved in his time at the club...Which is more than can be said for young Master Cole. It emerged at the weekend in The Times that it is widely believed that he has a £16m escape clause in his contract so that it can be triggered by anyone who matches this valuation. It is expected that Chelsea and Real Madrid will both be in for the mercenary little sod once the World Cup is over. If he goes to Madrid, then fair enough you cannot argue with him testing himself in a new environment. If he goes to The Red Square then it is all about money. Pure and simple. Make no mistake, I expect Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester United to put in a stern challenge to Chelsea next season and it is one that I am not convinced that Chelsea can withstand. Take nothing away from them in the last two seasons but forget not that they have capitalised on their peers inconsistencies not blown them away with marvellous football.

Normally at this point, there are a couple of tunes tagged in but today is different as I am publicising another website which I consider to be worthy. The Mod Pop Punk Archive is exactly that. Forget the multitude of compilations from that proclaim to be the Number One Punk album, these guys have pulled together a vast array of choons from 1977 - 1984 which are far more deserving than some of the dross served up by Sony, Universal et al. MP3 downloads are available in their Sounds category.