Sign On, Sign On, With Pen In Your Hand...

Tomorrow's visit to THOF of Liverpool is one of English footballs' classic matches. Over the years there have been plenty of enthralling games between the two sides. Memories flood back of classic goals entering the Liverpool net; Noddy Talbot a classic freekick curled into Grobbelaars net followed by a diving header to seal a 3 - 1 win; "It's Charlie!" exclaims an overexcited Barry Davies as Nicholas scuffs two at Wembley to win The Littlewoods Cup - "1 - 0 down, 2 - 1 up, we f***ed Rushies record up" in response to be first team to beat Liverpool when Ian Rush scored; Rocky Rocastle's stunning equaliser in the League Cup, a volley from the edge of the area with minimal backlift; "Thomas charges through the midfield, it's up for grabs now! An unbelievable climax to the league season". 'Nuff said; Anders Limpar's shot from fifty yards over Mike Hoopers head into the net. Hooper subsequently claimed that he'd spotted a Lesser Spotted Tit on the ball and couldn't catch it. Not a nice way to describe Anders but there you go Limpar again at Anfield, drilling home from the edge of the six yard area; Merson getting a Brucie - bonus at Anfield in 1991; Freddie slotting home to give the 10 men after Gio's ludicrous sending off; Enough memories for you John? And I haven't even mentioned Titi dribbling through the Liverpool defence to slot home a couple of years ago in the 4 - 2 win.

This match however offers the chance for some quick revenge for the defeat on Valentines Day. I sincerely hope that the team turn up to play this time, boosted by the last two performances which in their own different ways were a signal of what this team can achieve. Liverpool on the other hand are starting to resemble Arsenal of a month ago with their inconsistency. Scoring seems to be a real problem for the forwards and as a consequence this places great pressure on the midfield to make up the shortfall. Let us hope their barren spell continues tomorrow. Early team news indicates that van Persie, Campbell and Cygan are fit and may be in contention for a place on the bench.

Todays Tunes are from a band who seem to be tipped for the top, descendants of The Jam and The Chords, The Rifles:

She's Got Standards

Peace And Quiet

Just Champion

The draw for the Champions League Quarter Finals has taken place:

Arsenal v Juventus
Lyon v AC Milan
Internazionale / Ajax v Villarreal
Benfica v Barcelona

The Semi Finals will be:

Arsenal or Juventus v Internazionale or Ajax or Villarreal
Lyon or AC Milan v Benfica or Barcelona

The draw is reasonable; Juve are in good form domestically but struggled to get past Werder Bremen in the last round, whose keeper will still be having nightmares about the fumble when he is eighty-five. Paddy returns to Highbury for the last time, which although during the game he will not be popular, will extend a red carpet welcome beforehand. Some positives; we avoided Barca, Milan and Lyon who are this seasons form teams in the competition whilst should Arsenal progress to the semi – finals, the potential opponents are eminently beatable. Of course, Juve relives one the clubs finest hours in Europe when having been held to a 1 – 1 draw in the first leg, Arsenal became the first English team to win in Turin when an 82nd minute Paul Vaessan goal sent The Gunners through to the 1980 European Cup Winners Cup Final. Fast-forward twenty one years to the Champions League Group stages when a storming performance drove Arsenal on to a 3 – 1 win at THOF. More of those performances please rather than the insipid 1 – 0 defeat in Turin in 2002 that signalled Arsenal’s exit from the tournament.

It was strange, and exceptionally pleasing, to note that Arsenal are the only English team left in the competition. Since the team got its’ regular berth in the Group Stages, we have become accustomed to every other English side going further than us, even Leeds Leeds Leeds did so when they had their fifteen minutes of fame. Having reached this stage twice before and going out, perhaps it will be third time lucky for progressing to the Semi Finals and beyond. Whatever happens, this side have done well to progress this far given their wretched domestic form. Even more astounding is that a clean sheet in the first leg will mean that Arsenal equal Milan’s record for matches without conceding a goal. The last one conceded was in Amsterdam on 27th September during the Group Stages.

Alan Pardew has commented that Arsene Wenger’s policy of not fielding any English players on Wednesday means that Arsenal’s success is not good for British football. Rather disingenuously he comments that the core of the side should always be English with a minimum of 2 – 3 home players. Not a bad idea but ignores the fact that if Cole and Campbell were fit, this would have been the case. Rather ludicrously, he then comments on The ‘Appy ‘Ammers being filled with young Englishmen. And therein lies the rub. For the last decade, West Ham have fought in relegation battles or been in The Championship. In that time, Arsenal have won Premiership Titles, FA Cups and been involved in Europe every year. Whilst mediocrity may be acceptable to the regulars at Upton Park, challenging for trophies every season is far more palatable at THOF.

The problem for English football is that homegrown players are too expensive compared with their more technically gifted foreign counterparts. For example, two similarly talented players, Reyes and Wright-Phillips were signed for a combined fee of about £35m. Guess which one was £21m? Theo Walcott could cost the club around £12m if all performance targets are hit. And that is for a 16 year old. The total cost of that transfer is more than Wenger spent on three players who are older and more experienced in the January transfer window. Any wonder that English clubs are struggling financially and the core of the top five sides are foreign as opposed to native?

As a postscript to typing the above, Le Professeur has accused Pardew of racist comments. This is too strong and detracts from the point Pardew made about the denial of chances to English players , irrespective of the poorly worded manner of the West Ham managers comments. Wenger needs to apologise for suggesting that of a man who has made no such accusation.

Todays Tunes are some deep soul from the 60's:

Eddie King and Mae B. May - Please Mr DJ

The Dontells - Nothing But Nothing

You Gotta Fight For Your Right To Party

The British Government has announced plans to reduce the potential for violence at this years Ronald McDonald Schadenfreude FIFA World Cup, at least the part that so-called England fans can participate in. New legislation before Parliament will allow the Police and CPS to apply for banning orders for unconvicted Football Hooligans to have to report to their local police station for a period of up to five years when England matches are played, an increase from three years under the current regime.One thing that amazed me was that there was no obligation on anyone subjected to a Banning Order to tell the Police in the UK if they changed their name. For example, if the Banning Order was issued to John Smith and he changed his name to Sebastian Weetabix, the miscreant could travel quite legitimately under his new identity without having to report to the designated Police Station. The Government and Law Enforcement Agencies would then be unable to enforce the Order, as it was no longer holding a valid name.

The German Interior Minister has commented that “anyone who misbehaves will be leaving the country rather quickly” when talking about the potential for violent behaviour. What he failed to add was the miscreants would probably be requiring Air Ambulance transportation after the local Riot Police have finished kicking ten bells of crap out of those arrested. Several insurance companies have denied including travelling to the World Cup in the dangerous pursuits categories of their travel insurance policies. One hopes, maybe forlornly, that the German authorities will drop their posturing and confrontational approach to policing and take on board the lessons from Euro 2004 where the Portuguese Police adopted a lower profile and came through the tournament with lower than expected arrest figures despite the presence of a large England following. When trouble did occur, particularly incidents on the Algarve, they took a politically expedient route by foregoing the opportunity to link the trouble to the tournament. Whatever the truth, it killed the media stories linking the tournament to those events and diffused any potential lingering resentments.

Somewhat bemusingly, the German Authorities are recommending that England fans do not participate in their usual witty song repertoire in public places, citing that chanting “Two World Wars and A World Cup Too” and “617 Squadron” (the theme from The Dambusters) might actually cause public disorder to take place. No shit, Einstein. These guys are really on top of this hooligan problem, eh? Next they will be telling us that the inevitable Nazi salutes from the brainless NF thugs will cause offence when England play Trinidad & Tobago in Nuremberg. Perhaps FIFA will take more care when deciding which stadiums are allocated particular matches in future.

Still the sub – editors at the Red Tops won’t have to worry about headlines. If England struggle in the match or there are any court cases arising from the match you can be sure that they will be using “England (fans) face Nuremberg Trial” as the headlines. It may be worthwhile popping into Ladbrokes and see what odds they will give on which paper using this. Hot favourites are The Star and The Daily Mirror with The Sun seeing this as too cheap a shot. Talking of which, it is the very same media that wants to sensationalise and demonise hooliganism yet at the same time promote the “Little Englander” / “Island Siege” mentality. This allows them to appear sanctimonious in their condemnation and adopt the hypocritical denial when in the past they have been handing out the cash to enable the mindless thugs to get hammered in the hope that alcohol will fuel trouble.

Whilst the arrests at English grounds are falling there remain doubts about whether the violent minority that follow England is diminishing, despite the legal measures adopted. There are many sociological works that deal with the personal and environmental mentalities. Some of it may be true but it can be also noted that the majority of travelling England fans are followers of lower Premiership and Division clubs who do not get the chance to regularly travel abroad for football. It cannot be a coincidence that Liverpool took 40,000 fans to Istanbul and there was no reported trouble yet if 40,000 England fans went to a match there is a stronger potential for trouble.

Still, we live in hope that the event will pass peacefully and that England can celebrate the end of a forty year wait…

Todays tunes are from Neil Young:

Only Love Can Break Your Heart

Ohio

Reaching For The Stars

Arsenal 0 - 0 Real Madrid (Arsenal win 1 - 0 on aggregate)

Lo Hicimos! Luck ridden, solid defending, tenacious tackling - everything that is missing from the apathetic away performances in the Premiership were there for everyone to see in all their full glory at THOF this evening. Ronaldo set the tone by missing a glorious chance within the first couple of minutes to wipe out Henrys' goal in the Bernabeu. Not that it was one way traffic - Real probably had more chances but the home side created the better ones. As the evening wore on and sphincters grew tighter, it became apparent that this was going to be one of the best goalless draws Highbury would ever witness.

How this one finished goalless is something of a mystery with Raul hitting the post and missing an open goal with the rebound, Reyes thundered the bar, Roberto Carlos cleared a 70 yard Pires effort off of the line; Lehmann and Casillas both made a number of fine saves. Defenders threw bodies in front of the ball to block shots, Madrid looked stronger defensively than the first leg with Cicinho being replaced by Salgado.

One thing that is apparent is the correct assertion from the interim President of Real who has declared a review of the Galaticos policy, that several of this team are past their prime. Zidane and Ronaldo are a pale imitation of the geniuses they were 3 - 5 years ago. Like a boxer who has taken one fight too many, this team is one season too many.

Of Arsenal, all deserve credit and some chastisement but special praise for Lehmann, Flamini, Eboue (whose energy and commitment are making him an instant favourite), Toure and Ljungberg - who wilfully toiled without scoring. More of the same against Liverpool on Sunday please. Hleb gave the ball away far too frequently but added more steel to the midfield than Pires does, Senderos had a good evening but continues to give those with Dicky Tickers more scares whilst Reyes is probably still counting the bruises. Henry rose to the occasion once again and Real did not defend against him any better than in the first leg. How Ramos is rated at £19m is beyond me whilst Raul Bravo is still the same one - legged hoofer that we knew from his days at Elland Road.

The Quarter Final line up is taking shape with Milan, Barca, Juve, Lyon, Villarreal and Benfica joining Arsenal in the hat a week on Friday. The remaining berth goes to Internazionale or Ajax who play next Tuesday.

Todays Tunes: Two blasts from the past:

Was (Not Was) - Walk The Dinosaur

Was (Not Was) - Spy In The House Of Love

There May Be Trouble Ahead

This week is crucial to the remainder of Arsenal's season (I believe I've said that before and will no doubt say it again) with the visits to The Home Of Football (THOF) of Liverpool on Sunday and before that, the small matter of Real Madrid tomorrow night. The Tiny Tots visit Stamford Bridge where 3 points are expected to go to the home side, which would leave Arsenal three points behind in the race for fourth spot should we beat Liverpool. The team are in a position to take advantage of their superb performance in the Santiago Bernabeu and go into the game having suffered one away defeat and one comprehensive victory in a derby match. So that's the same as Real then, aside from the comprehensive bit.

Having gained a one goal advantage from the first leg, the opening twenty minutes are going to be crucial for the match. If Arsenal can score early, some nerves may disappear and also Madrid will have to push forward to score leaving gaps at the back. Tactically, Wenger will be unable to play for a draw as this team is not confident enough in their own abilities to do so. For this reason, I am anticipating a repetition of the tactics he employed in the first leg, exploiting gaps in their defence with the pace of Reyes, Henry and Ljungberg. Unless things go awry, I do not expect Bergkamp to start with Fabregas replacing Diaby and playing on the right whilst Ljungberg moves into the centre of midfield. Which means the XI would be:

Lehmann; Eboue, Senderos, Toure, Flamini; Pires, Ljungberg, Gilberto, Fabregas; Reyes; Henry.

One other change Wenger may be considering is to drop Pires and leave Diaby in the centre, pulling Reyes back onto the left hand side of a five man midfield. The major difference between the two matches will probably be caused by the narrowness of the Highbury pitch, with Wenger already noting that his side prefer larger pitches as they allow more space.

Historically, Arsenal are now favourites to progress as they have never lost a tie where they have won the first leg away from home. Similarly, Madrid have never recovered a deficit from a home first leg in the knockout phases of the European Cup. Indeed, Arsenal's win was only their second home defeat in the competitions knock out phases ever when they have played the first leg at home, the other being in 2000/01 when Bayern Munich knocked them out 3 - 1 on aggregate having won 1 - 0 in the Bernabeu. However, taken on form since 1st January Madrid still have the better record and I think start as slight favourites to win the tie.

Todays Tunes bring forth three Spanish bands in honour of the esteemed guests at THOF tomorrow night:

Los Flechazos - Un Bidón De Gasolina

Brighton 64 - Quiero Beber

Sex Museum - I'm Alone

What's The Point

The fallout from the weekends fracas continues apace with further disciplinary action likely following the referees report being submitted, making full mention of the pack mentality in their pursuit of mob justice. In both cases, all the Chelsea and West Brom players were missing was a length of rope and the Wild West would have hit the Black Country in all its’ full gory.

On top of this, The Setubal Smirk has been reported following his touchline antics and Chelsea’s late return to action at the start of the second half. Obviously this is further proof of the West London clubs pursuit of winning on all fronts that not only do they have to win the match 2 – 1, they subsequently have to beat their opponents on the disciplinary charges, leading 3 – 2 although extra time might still be necessary to separate the two sides; Didier Drogba may yet be the difference between the two teams should he face charges for his ludicrously theatrical dive having followed through onto an opponents knee.

Summing up the incidents, Robben deserved to be sent off for his two-footed lunge at Greening. By the same token, Wallwork’s card should have been red rather than yellow for a similar incident with Gallas in the first half. Drogba should have been booked for his theatrics, as a minimum his agent should be contacting the makers of the next Bond film touting him for stunt work. Mourinho should have been sent off for his ironic applause of the referees’ decision to send off Robben, Rooney suffered that punishment for a similar incident at Villarreal earlier in the season. Bryan Robson should be lined up for Joe Calzaghe’s next opponent.

What is emerging is that I am not alone in finding Mourinho extremely tiresome – to begin with his confidence was a breath of fresh air compared to Wenger and Ferguson’s bitching at 30 paces. Subsequently his witticisms were amusing but in the last twelve months, the gloss has dimmed. Starting with the corresponding fixture in Barcelona last season, the arrogance has taken full hold on his public persona culminating in the weekend’s disgraceful events. Whilst not condoning their actions, it seems a terrible was of phlegm for the Barcelona fans to miss Mourinho yesterday when the team arrived in Catalunya.

That Chelsea will be fined is in little doubt. That this course of action is a waste of the FA’s time, there can be no doubt. With rampant commercialism having taken over the clubs and the players, the time has come for an overhaul of the disciplinary system. Premiership clubs generate too much money for fines to have any impact, even the £250,000 that can be levied against the clubs for the harassment of the referee. For club offences, fines should be partnered with a one-point deduction for every £ 10k in fines, i.e. those under £10k should be accompanied by a one-point deduction, fines under £20k a two-point accompaniment, etc. For players, managers and coaching staff, the fine should be accompanied by a one-match suspension for every £10k of fine. This would have the effect of focussing minds wonderfully knowing that their offences will have a serious impact and improve both on and off field behaviour.

Peter Kenyon had an interview with The Sunday Timespublished last weekend, somewhat unfortunate timing given the events of the previous day. Amidst all of the usual banalities are some insights, such as Abramovich is a really nice guy (I still like the tale I heard about him having elocution lessons to improve his voice which sounded like a cross between Elmer Fudd and Sylvester The Cat), and Mourinho is a really good coach and Chelsea want to be loved. The only way to finish the article was to skip to the end which meant that I nearly missed the gem that explained Chelsea have spent the same as Real Madrid, Manchester United and Internazionale on transfer fees in the last ten years. Young Peter is being somewhat disingenuous here, as Chelsea have spent 80% of their total in the least three seasons. Perhaps when Peter leaves Stamford Bridge for a new challenge, he could take on the PR role for Saddam Hussain which would fill the vacancy left by Comic Ali.

Todays Tunes are two of my favourite film themes, inspired by Didier Drogba's acting:

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly - Ennio Morricone

Across 110th Street - Bobby Womack & Peace

World Cup Countdown

With less than 100 days to the FIFA 2006 World Cup, sponsored by just about every multinational Conglomerate that you can think of that adds no value whatsoever to the tournament other than their Greenback Dollar, kicks off in Germany. Last week saw most of the finalists play meaningless friendlies, sorry, warm up matches that provide a similar style and standard of opposition, from which the coaches will have come away knowing little if anything more about their players than they did at the final whistles around the globe last weekend.

Well, that’s not strictly true as there were some notable exceptions with mein hosts seeming to be the ones who have most problems. Reality hit Der Nationalmannschaft squarely and firmly between the legs in Florence on Wednesday night where the Italians outplayed and outclassed them during a 4 – 1 victory. In the past six years, the Germans have played 17 games against teams who are considered world class and won absolutely none of them. The eighteenth game was their 1 – 0 win at Wembley. During this time, they have come off second best to Argentina, Brazil, France and Holland three times each, the Italians have turned them over twice whilst the Czech Republic, England and Spain all currently hold bragging rights. Their next opponents are the USA, a defeat that previously would have been unthinkable is now a distinct possibility. If Frankfurter Allgemeine believes that the national team are Soccer dwarves now, to lose to the Americans presumably would make them a Soccer Corpse.

Even more amusingly, player disharmony is rearing its’ ugly head with Borussia Dortmund centre back Christian Worns being believing that Jurgen Klinsmann is “clumsy, dishonest and crappy” for sending him an email telling Worns that he would not be playing in Florence as the Germans were only taking three centre-backs to the match. Worns is apparently upset that he ranks below Chelsea benchwarmer Robert Huth, in Klinsmanns’ affections. If that outburst signals the end of his international career for a while then he can consider himself as receiving notification of it which is in marked contrast to Kevin Keegan who threw his toys out of his pram when Sir Robby Bobson failed to contact him prior to not naming him in his first England Squad. Perhaps Keegan was completely out of touch with how National Squads are announced as a large number of players called up seem to find out through the media even now.

It is always nice to witness the disarray of potential opponents of England when usually it is us who are cocking it up on a massive scale. For once, the build-up is relatively harmonious with the media being on the side of the team. Well aside from Sven and Ashley Cole suing the biggest selling newspapers in the land. Which should mean that the final squad training sessions will take place at The Old Bailey rather than in Bavaria. Perhaps Eriksson will arrange for friendly matches against juries from other trials in the recess from his and Cole's case. Who knows, if Cole aggravates his injury again, the Swede will be lucky and find a suitable replacement in the jury for Court 12.

Todays Tunes goes soulful:

Evie Sands - Take Me For A Little While & I Can't Let Go

Shirley Ellis - The Nitty Gritty